Bigger Problems

You lost your job and suddenly think the world is coming to an end. Well, it's not... yet. According to the ancient Mayans you have at least three more years before that happens. So live it up!

One of the (totally not nerdy at all) things I've been doing with my borrowed time is researching the grim 2012 theories and getting psyched for the predictable disaster movie about 12.11.12. Since first learning about Judgment Day while watching Ghostbusters as a child, I've been morbidly fascinated by any event which could instantly eradicate all my problems along with everything else in the world.

Don't judge. It's easy to become obsessed with something out of your hands when you are living proof of the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression. Many New Yorkers are spending fruitless hours searching for jobs and salaries that match their old ones. It is a total bummer but it could be worse. For example, a landslide in the Canary Islands could cause an 80 foot tsunami that would wipe out everything on the Eastern American seaboard. Short of seeing Zuul in your ice box, no matter what your problems were, that 80 ft. one would be worse.

The attraction to cataclysmic scenarios has proven profitable for Hollywood (with the exception of movies like Waterworld, which was way ahead of it's time). Humans have evolved in part because they are genetically programed to be mindful of danger - seeking information on things posing a threat to them. They also enjoy a good thrill ride.

But are there actually valid lessons to be learned by watching faulty-science filled blockbusters? Y2K scammers now feeding off the growing 2012 frenzy say yes. I say don't waste your money on their $900 dust masks just yet. Obama wants you to be frugal with your money for a reason. If a mega disaster happens, you will have between a millisecond to a few miserable months to live no matter what is in your bomb shelter. So take that money and spend it on something else like cancer research or paying down your debt.

Whether the apocalypse comes in the form of a supermassive black hole, 4 horsemen, pandemic or apoxic event, seriously, you'll be f*cked. The Nat Geo channel has made that very clear. There is no harm in studying religious myths and scientific facts on the subject though. I'm partial to documentaries on tsunamis, mega volcanoes and the medieval predictions of Merlin. Just remember that if the End of Days does come, and someone asks if you are a god - you say yes.