"Say you've got a big job interview. Throw back a couple of shots of Hennigans and you'll be as loose as a goose and ready to roll in no time! And because it's odorless, why it'll be our little secret."
Nobody likes going on job interviews. But unless a position falls into your lap, it's a necessary step to getting employed. So you do it. And like a bad breakup, this last one kicked the shit out of me.
The negative way it turned out was mostly my fault. Even though I fought hard to convince “Art Vandalay” to meet with me about the paid casting position, I spent more time deciding what to what to wear (tricky for production peeps) than researching the company and recalling my biggest strengths/weaknesses.
My lack of readiness showed and my credibility was attacked. All the redeeming things I had to say about myself seemed to fall upon apathetic ears. At one point during the ill prepared interview I thought I was going to throw up. My head got fuzzy and my throat felt ominous (maybe it was the Hennigans). But I persevered and choked the feeling back, trying to remember why I thought I was qualified for any job let alone the one I was there for.
I left feeling lowly and miserable. Thoughts swirling in my muddled brain included that I was capable of nothing and should give up on my dreams. When I got back to Queens I bought some baklava and beer to ease the pain, wrote my thank you (for nothing) note and passed out.
Then I woke up at the crack of dawn to spend the day helping to manage a crowd of teenage girls for a Jonas Brothers concert in the Rainbow Room. It was my first day of work in over two months and it felt great. I did great. Somewhere in that nonstop day I realized that nobody ever taught me how to organize large groups of people. Huge screaming crowds of teens and their protective mothers do not come with a training manual, I just hit the ground running.
Since I was in 30 Rock, I decided to stop by the new(ish) offices of my old internship at Late night with Conan O'brien- which I loved and happily worked at for free weekdays while working weekends for minimum wage/drinking money at the NBC Store. If I could go back to those eight months of my life I would. But six years of learning have passed since then and it would be ridiculous to think that they didn't amount to anything. If I really want a career in the entertainment industry I need to take a step forward rather taking a leap back.
So here are the new mantras I'm repeating. "Remember what you want and aim for it. Keep applying to challenging roles. Don't turn down an interview. Prepare for that interview. Don't let someone who barely knows you make you feel like you are less than what you are. You are never too old to try something new, but you can be too experienced to work for free."
Cue Barney's get psyched mix.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
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I'm literally printing out your mantras and sticking them to my bulletin board.
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