Just Do It

I'm not alone in my unemployment blogging. There are thousands of us roaming the web. We all seem to have the same things to say about the initial shock and inevitable frustration that comes with getting laid off. But when it comes to the sex lives of the unemployed, the recession seems to be affecting us in many different ways.

When I first moved to New York I lived like I thought I should - drinking regularly, smoking in bars and crashing celebrity packed hangouts by night. My friends were all bartenders/struggling entertainers who kept me drunk and apathetic to the fact that I was without a real job. It took it's toll on my pale bloated body but the dark lighting of dive bars must have been forgiving. Somehow, despite the extra baggage on my belly and under my eyes, men found me attractive enough to take me home.

I call this period, "My Lost Year."

As Uggs were giving way to Skinny jeans my tab free nights turned into temp filled days. 8am starts forced me to go to sleep sober at earlier hours. Most of the week at least. Eventually the temping stopped and I began my "real career" as a casting assistant for reality TV. Boys fell by the wayside as I became involved a serious relationship with work. I chased 12 hour days with quick sessions at the gym while managing to squeeze in the time to find a whole new group of friends that made me realize there was a much more sane way to live my life (while still having of fun).

Then I was given the pink slip - my ticket to once again live on the rowdy side. Living without the structure a full time job provides has caused me to fall back into a lifestyle... That I'm withholding the details of because my mom reads my blog and my dad recently learned how to Google. So I'll just have to write about "other" people.

I've been reading a lot of columns about jobless folk in relationships either too ashamed to have sex or too depressed to take their sweatpants off. On the flip side, there are couples putting the Trojan CEO's kids through college because they feel they have to prove something to themselves or their partner. Unemployed pairs are frequently providing quotes such as "we are doing it more because all we have is each other." I believe the situation varies depending on the status of the relationship and how they view the other (friend, provider, nuturer, etc). No two couples are the same, but outdated studies from the Great Depression have shown that if you're seriously involved, you'll probably be getting it less.

For those not in a relationship, once the hibernation period ends recession victims are having it more often because they don't have to worry about waking up at any particular time, enjoy fleeting ego boosts, can't afford the gym and need to workout anyway they can, it's Friday! (or Tuesday?)... I could go on. But unfortunately -if you are looking for more than just a ...buddy- I've found most of these scenarios don't turn into anything serious. Much like the interviewer who never calls back - if the texts cease to exist they're just not that into you. This can be a serious blow to the self esteem of someone who is already down and out.

My advice? Avoid seedy ads on Craigslist seeking buxom 20-30 year old women with or without experience - I really hope you don't need money that badly. But keep living your life optimistically and don't feel bad about anything you have or have not done. Stay focused on how you are going to get yourself out of the rising 8.5% and remember to keep it safe.