Volver

Hansel: So I'm rappelling down Mount Vesuvius when suddenly I slip, and I start to fall. Just falling, ahh ahh, I'll never forget the terror. When suddenly I realize "Holy shit, Hansel, haven't you been smoking Peyote for six straight days, and couldn't some of this maybe be in your head?"
Derek Zoolander: And?
Hansel: And it was. I was totally fine. I've never even been to Mount Vesuvius.
 
"So, does it feel weird?"
 
During the week long return to my old job (which I was laid off from) I got asked that question a lot.  The answer?  Kind of.  Upon arrival I retraced old footsteps to the printer, soda machine and floor to ceiling windows overlooking Times Square, feeling like I had just woken up from a vivid dream induced by a trip to a daiye spa.
 
Then a naked occupant of the hotel across from my building waved at me and I realized that nothing since December 4th, 2008 had been a dream.  This was still my old co-workers reality and I was crashing it like I crashed SNL parties back in the 'lost year'. Sadly, I was too busy casting my heart out to really enjoy catching up with them over my recession friendly lunches of leftovers, hidden deep within the fridge in all their tupperware glory.
 
I knew returning would feel slightly bizarre but didn't hesitate when accepting the temporary position.  I left that office on good terms with the hope that I could return in some capacity.  In this economy it is silly to pass on the opportunity to remind your former employer what an asset you can be.
 
Unfortunately I'm considered more of a luxury item than an asset in my industry.  Any producer worth their salt can do my job.  But usually, they're too swamped with locking locations and drafting scripts to devote 100% of their time to finding the best quality talent out there.
 
That's where I come in, working around the clock through rain and 72 degree shine.  I actually began to pity myself for having to labor indoors during a beautiful day last week.  But I checked myself as the words from my friend Veeders underemployment blog flashed through my mind - "I won't complain.  I can't complain."  I had a job, something which makes gorgeous days off spent biking by the ocean that much more rewarding.  In unemployment land, unfulfilled days blend together inconsequentially regardless of the weather.
 
Another downside to having such a hectic freelance job is you don't have time to look for a new one.  So the second it ends, you are left dog-tired and jobless. After catching up on your sleep, exercise and everything recorded on your DVR, you go back to taking sunny days for granted - opting to stay indoors job hunting, hoping to work again.
 
So don't fear going back to an old employer that wants you.  Should you feel out of place upon return acknowledge that the feeling is all in your head.  Keep yourself busy doing what you were brought back in for without shame.  Under the equalizing fluorescent office lights, you are just another person doing your job.