Bucket List Blues

Last week I wondered when it was finally time to take on a less than stellar job opportunity. Luckily I have wise friends who have been in my situation. Veeder, recent birthday boy and fellow blogger offered some great advice on the matter:

Veeder: I don't know if I'd look at it as settling. The big thing I'd try and do is make sure you're looking long term. Even if a job sucks now in terms of pay or title or whatever, if you could possibly be in a much better place in a year or two, then it might be worth it
Me: cool, maybe I can just copy and paste that advice
Veeder: I give you permission... I wouldn't take any job just to be employed, but if it's something that you can do to ride out the bad times that keeps you in the game a little bit, then I'd go for it
Veeder: Is it too late to write a blog about my company's asinine overreaction to swine flu?
Me: you are riding the edge of that flash in the pan
Veeder: I was going to write it last night and I think even now I'll have to acknowledge that the fad has passed.

I feel Veeder's pain when it comes to having to pass things up. It seems like I'm having to abandon more and more fun plans with friends to attend networking events or work last minute gigs. My days are typically filled with free time occupied by inane to do lists concocted the night before. (Pilates, job hunt, pay credit card, motivational coffee walk, job hunt...) But the times I actually have something exciting planned, a career related activity pops up and fun has to take the back seat.

I'm still waiting for one of these networking events to yield a promising work opportunity. Am I approaching them the wrong way? Like, should I be wearing my hair in a bun and splurge for the shiny glazed business cards instead of the standard matte? Or is it my bucket list that is really holding me back from succeeding in landing a new job?

When I woke up nice and hungover after Laid Off Eve I started to compile the list of things I wanted to do before going back to working around the clock. During my December staycation I crossed off seeing a play, musical, trying out cheap local restaurants and paying the MoMa/Met/Cloisters a visit. The things that remain can't be crossed off quite as easily. I'm still not fluent in Spanish, can't use a lighting kit and have yet to ride a short-board inside the popes living room.

Like a sign-up chalkboard for a beer-pong table, the list just keeps getting longer with new goals being written over old barely erased ones. For example, I have a plan to one afternoon bike to Long Beach, watch the moon cast silver ripples over the ocean (smore in hand), wake up, surf, and bike back to Astoria. It's a challenge, but yesterday I mapped an "Islands of the East River" bike tour that's just begging to be traveled as well.

If I had a job I would have to wait till a nice weekend rolled around to challenge my Trek. Without a job, I just have to wait for a nice day.

I think these fun little goals are preventing me from 100% committing myself to the job hunt. To make matters worse, when the laid back unemployment lifestyle grows on you it's hard to shake. Your life becomes a perpetual series of days filled with whatever you choose, especially when you go weeks without any solid job leads.

Luckily for me, the last project I freelanced on turned out really well and made me fall in love with casting all over again. Being able to work out 3 hours a day is nice, but I'm going to do whatever it takes to get back into the grind. The list will always be there but unemployment benefits don't last forever.