Vacation Guilt

For the first time since before college, I didn't feel like I earned the right to take a vacation. I'm used to working my butt off to meet a deadline which always happens to be the midnight before my trip begins. Packing always occurred 10 minutes before rushing out the door 20 minutes behind schedule. The moment my plane took off I would smile to myself and get ready to recline and relax, savoring every second of my well deserved escape.

But this memorial day, I delinquently gathered my luggage and headed to a remote bay in Erie, Pennsylvania. It was the first of the 5 weddings I'll be attending this year.

Even though I live a crazy life full of cover letter writing, job board stalking, aprender Español, various networking meet-ups... because I don't have a boss and feel the stress of deadlines, I don't view myself as actually working.

Ironically, for someone who “doesn't work,” I panicked at the thought of being away from my laptop for more than one day. Since I was saving money by splitting travel costs with a bridesmaid, I was going to be gone for four.

So I scouted the place online. I left my laptop at home because they charged for wireless but had free high speed computers to use in the lobby. Weather.com predicted a beautiful forecast for my stay, so I looked up fun local routes along the lake front to exercise along. The hotel had a gym and pool to work out at should thunder clouds come rolling in. There was also a jacuzzi that I spent an hour unwinding in while watching the once sunken US Brig Niagra glide through the harbor into a brilliant sunset.

Back to the vacation guilt. Before my departure I stopped by the Queens library and checked out a few books on job hunting secrets and careers in writing. My plan was to read them on the patio by the bay. But true to unemployment form, I couldn't find the time to do anything constructive other than applying online for a position as a game show casting AP. To be fair, I really put my heart into that cover letter.

Before I knew it, the $80 I brought for the 4 days of fun was almost depleted. This is what happens when the only thing within a mile of your overpriced hotel are fishing boats. To start saving money, I walked into town and lived like a dollar menunaire. I also stopped by Subway and brought back a 5 dollar foot long to chill in my room. For the price of one hotel meal, I bought myself a days worth of good eats and was back on my spending track.

Finally the big day arrived, and when I saw my friend walk down the aisle it was all worth it. I got to hang out with some of my favorite college friends who had scattered across the nation after graduation and experienced a true Catholic mass. I only made the mistake of putting my feet up on the kneeling thing once.

While I still don't feel like I earned that vacation, I really can't look at it as being one. Even though I was away from my laptop there were still ways I cut costs and remained productive. Plus, it's good to get the occasional change of scenery from your couch to find some new inspiration.

My summer/fall is filled with bridal showers, dress fittings, engagement parties and bachelorette fiestas. I'm not going to let the recession keep me from celebrating the best days of my friends lives. I just have to cut costs elsewhere and plan ahead to make do.