Settle for Less?

The second my unemployment began my friends turned into dedicated head hunters, forwarding to me any positions they saw which remotely fit my area of expertise. My support system rocks.

The problem is (and my friends honestly acknowledge this when they send leads my way), most of these jobs are a harsh title downgrade from what I'm used to. They require my bruised ego to grab a paycheck that is slightly more than unemployment, but half of what I was used to collecting.

It's hard to settle for meager wages when most of your friends are still living a fun lifestyle supported by the jobs and salaries they have been promoted to. My unencumbered situation could be a lot worse, but at one point do I need to give in and take any job I can find?

If I do cave and accept just anything, then what has been the point of me optimistically holding out for these past 5 months? My biggest fear is that as soon as I accept a longer term job out of frustration, the perfect one will present itself and I won't be able to grab it because I'm grudgingly committed elsewhere.

I've talked about interning for free to make connections in any field that interests you. I may do that after careful thought and research. But these low paying positions come out of the blue and you have to act fast. My hesitation before accepting or even applying to these jobs has led to them all passing me by. To prevent this from happening in the future, I have created a standard cover letter (Stacey Burgay approved) to send as soon as I get word of something new. It details my experience and why I'm interested in the position:

Subj: Dejectedly Sent Cover Letter of Frustrated Unemployee

Dear Hiring Manager,

I tried to think of a witty intro to make my letter stand out from the hundreds you will be ignoring but was sidetracked by Ellen Degeneres dancing on TV. Clearly, I'm taking the time to write you because I'm interested in the opening you posted on a mainstream job board. I've been seeking an opportunity just like this, but for a better salary and higher position at a company the general public has actually heard of.

As you deliberate this placement consider the following:

I have functioned efficiently as a unit for over 5 months while the economy is failing as a whole.
I have redistributed my streamlined earning output by 2/3rds so that I don't have to trade my gold 4 cash.
I have seen 86 episodes of Lost. Previous to my severance, I had seen zero.

After seven years in the industry, I have a thorough understanding of every aspect of what your business does. My last position was eliminated due to restructuring. It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I worked around the clock being the best employee that I could possibly be. I view myself as a hard working troubleshooter who thinks outside the box. I'll save you the trouble of asking this question in the future; my weakness is that I am too much of a perfectionist who sometimes doesn't know when to stop. I used Internet research skills and Microsoft Office to find your post and compose this letter, clearly demonstrating that I meet the basic qualifications you listed in your want ad. Also, I'm a ninja. I believe my roommate's cat to be a pirate.

If you are seeking a self motivated, career-committed, team playing hire who isn't a tool, then please consider what I have to offer. I look forward to speaking with you in person so I can finally justify buying the power suit I got on sale. Please don't act bored and/or offer false hope of employment if we do meet face to face. My resume isn't attached - that file paper clipped to this e-mail is actually a coupon for free KFC, courtesy of Oprah. I hope this demonstrates how dedicated I already am to helping your company stay cost effective.

Yours Truly,

Regina Phalange